Everything to me.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

i'm here again...
apparently, i'm abit troubled...bcos of my indecisive-ness at things tat are happenin around me, esp towards the First 3mths Admission to JC

i've started thinkin abt it ever since i gotten the 7pts for Prelims (Praise the Lord for His Grace)...and it's kinda funny, cos before Prelims...i was depressed by the fact tat i might not be doin jus as well as before...but when i got 7pts, i was once totally in thinkin-mode cos i donno which JC to go to...
it has been my dream to go VJC (influenced by my bro)... and i've been aiming for it ever since who noes when, but tat i finally have the chance, i donno why i'm hesitatin...i feel like bangin my head against the wall lor, so many pple are longin for this score of 7 and i noe many pple wanna kill me for it, right Sarah?...HAHA, but i donno why i'm hesitatin lor...it's like i'm stuck in b/w happiness and frustration...ugh, i feel so weird right now

tml's is the choice liao, or so i heard...and i really donno which to choose, VJ or TJ ?...
help me analyse ya?

Option 1 : VJC
pros - Dream come true
- Gd Standard, which will benefit me during A's
cons - too stressful
- might be overly proud and confident

Option 2: TJC
pros - pple around me not as competitive
- music elective ! which means i can use PIANO !!! yay!
cons - ugly uniform...rather odd colour
- wont be as satisfied as i would be in VJ (duh...)

here's a small comparison b/w my 2 options lor...haiz, so how?...
i think the most impt factor to consider above those mentioned above is... ...
is whether it'll affect my Spiritual Walk, whether my studies become my 1st Love, whether i can cope with the stress level...let's not forget pple, i'm hardworkin...not smart, tat means i'll lose out to those frm VS, RI, RGS who enter VJ or TJ...
i really don wanna push God aside for my studies lor...i've been doin tat this yr and i always feel tat i let Laupa down bcos i couldnt give a 100% heart to Laupa...

hmmm...i'm jus askin for Prayers, pls pray tat God will either show me a 'V' or 'T' tonight as i sleep, haha....cos i really want God to make the choice for me, i don wanna make the wrong choice and regret nxt time... the Encounter made me realise one thing, it was how hungry i could get for God, and i want tat hunger ... and i want God to fill me with it and i would definitely not let anythin obstruct it lor
i will learn to trust...i will learn to listen...i will learn to look frm God's point of view rather than mine, so many times before whereby it's always been my way, my thuds, my decisions...i don want tat, it's a past i must throw away!...

Laupa, pls show me a letter ... funny as it may seem to ask for a letter frm God, but i'm dead serious here...

Lionel (or Danny?...cant rmb) once told me tat we 'suffer' or feel unhappy at times is bcos we humans, don listen to God and make the wrong choices, when we humans choose to say 'NO' to God's choices...i don want tat, i will let Laupa control it...afterall, He noes the best for me...

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your Heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight"

how true... this has been my fav verse bcos each time i read, i feel tat sense of comfort tat God is in control and the simplest and only thing tat i needa do is TRUST HIM WHOLEHEARTEDLY...
and i will do tat...
i must...since i know tat God wont fail me...

Laupa, thx...

{ 4:22 PM }

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

{ 4:22 PM }